So I have found books that I really like, and the author is great.

Thithe - A Modern fairy tale
and follows with Valiant and Ironside (have yet not read the Ironside)
This books are great and Holly's language is simple with a perfect flow. The details are wonderful written and explained and the characters she have succeed to bring to life. From that I started to read her other story the The Spiderwick Chronicles
A wonderful story too (have just read the first book yet) but still the simplicity, the flow, the great details. I can only say that I recommend both series.

So our neighbours the fa'ae folk, ye wish to read more on them?
I found a couple of books today that I got meself and the first one is called The Fair folk and the second is Faery Reel both are anthology with (as it seem) great stories :)
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And the other part of life..
well still I fight to get up, still I fight to find a path to walk.
Its hard when ye find yeself not fittin this society were its most
important is to keep ye mouth shut, go to work then consume.
Over and over and over again, never lift ye head up never ask
yeself if this is wrong. Cause if ye do well then ye are sick and ye
need medication to push down that angst and strange feeling.

Probably I will break and either run away or be placed in a hospital...
ye know the society doesn't want people that trying to break free.
I wonder if I will ever find peace?

I walking along the street, watching people around me
but I feel detached.

I have nothing in common with this people at all.
I do not know where this path will lead anymore and if that is good or not.
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So on Friday I'm supposed to have some sort of gathering, a birthday party.
I should feel great I guess, but it feel strange. Not that another year have passed, but to have a party.
For whom? It doesn't feel spontaneous.. It feels sad to call to gather people as if I was lonely and am I ?
Perhaps I relay do not know. I do not like to think that way anyway..

So I made a few mails and sent a few messages but suddenly I felt mm well say it just stopped and I couldn't go on, it didn't feel right rather kind of pushy. I do not want it to be that way. But now I have gained a couple of answers and it seem a few people will show up.. guess it wouldn't be fun for them if I just dropped the whole thing and it would certainly not make me feel any better.

So sitting here and write this on a page @ server I have no control over and letting everyone else read for what purpose? Maybe my words will get another feeling reading them later on the screen, maybe I will find other creatures words that will give some kind of guldens or just reflection.

How do one make other relay understand how it can feel to be erm feel alienated to all this around, specially other humans, the consummating and all this buy and throw idea. How can I make others to understand that this society feel like a nightmare and that I just can't be a part of this? I have spooked to what many would say a pro, a psychologist but for what good I wonder. This 'pro' have made up its mind on a diagnose and keep coming back to that, whatever I tell its back to that diagnose and then telling me to get a grip and get back to work yes and of course take medic.

I have succeed to stay away from other kind of drugs for use to easy the pain or whatever, so how in the hell can they think I should get their drugs? As if thous where not dangerous and risk for addiction.. plain stupid.

There are places where I find relaxation alterrealm.com in Symphony of the Damned, a rpg chat in the nWoD setting. There is this Sabbat LARP in Uppsala but thats about it, of course I do get some amount of it when I play DnD with some friends but sometimes I feel superfluous, am I? Well who could tell..

I just want to find that peace I once had, that energy to stand against whatever tried to push my happiness down. Have that ease to speak with people and just be alive.

I hope this Friday will pass on well and reach some kind of Lotus position and peace.
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The idea, the theme is fa'ae. That will include everything from the Irish folklore to Tinker Bell and friends from Pixie Hollow. I hope people will like it and have fun. Does teh spirit of the net have any tips for such things?

From one thing to another, this xmas I gave my kaji a NDS Lite pink to color. Got two games to Puyo Pop Fever and Astrix & Obilix seemed she liked them, later I got myself one too in pink of course.. I mean you relay need happy colors :)
I will later get this SD Card called M3 DS Real with that I will be able to have PDA like stuff, DSLinux and read books, listen to music mm nice nice I say.

Now she and I can play together and we can chat :) oh one more thing with that card we can get on line too and chat via that using mm perhaps (but soon if not now) IM otherwise we can use the picochat. Its a great little thing.


I have prepared to ST again and this time it will be Mutant; Undergångens Arvingar, with the campaign Undergångens Arvtagare. I think this will be fun cause the MUA is like the old Mutant back in the mid 80s. Its campaign is over the Pyri communion, three books with three adventures in it.

After that I will take up WoD again and will be suing the nWoD rules cause its have got better now. Thou I will not use the fully setting cause I dislike certain things within that. I will mm mod my own old setting and get it rolling again but from a different angel perhaps.

Well I hope things takes a turn now from this not fun path to a better, with more light and colords and happy smiles :)

Some people do realy say good things and this one is done very well... and funny too
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mF_anaVcCXg&feature=related

I took a moment and watched it, well it wasn't as if this was the newest thing in the world.. but it did point out things that sometimes might fall behind the senses...

Bring them forth, let them fly high in the air and the sky.
Let them touch the rays of the sun and spread it over the
world. Be kissed by them, be loved by them and love them
back, kiss them back. For their wings brings joy and bells
of life to ye.


Arg = Alternate Reality Game
Why?
becouse its fun to use the open space, the space where
my game and their boring reality float as one. Strange
mayhap, dangerous? well can be if ye do it wrong. Letting
yeself float faster and faster and lose the grip of everything.


Now what is this? come and join the search!
Conspirarae

this is the image:



Jag har funderat en hel del som vanligt..
Vad är det som tvingar mig till att jag måste anpassa mig och lära mig de osynliga sociala spelreglerna för att funka bland resten?
Varför ska det vara mitt fel att jag inte förstår när någon säger en sak men egentligen menar något annat, och dessutom förväntas
att jag ska förstå det? Det är ju helt absurdum.

Folk gnäller på särskrivning och andra små saker när dom borde tänka mer på att tala och mena samma sak istället. Vad är det för mening att göra på annat sätt? Eller för den delen t ex ironi och sarkasm?
Jag ser det som feghet att inte möta världarna och inte våga ta steget till att faktiskt bry sig.

Nä öppna ögonen och se, se hur ni låter er styras och tycka av den såkallade statsmakten.. ni ser ner på Kinas regering när de censurerar nätet för sina medborgare och övervakar vad dessa gör. Men samtidigt blundar ni och tror att er egen regering vill er väl när de succeivt bryter ner den personliga intrigiteten och spärrar delar av nätet, jagar små barn för nedladdning och tillåter er att bli övervakade av kamror, som samkörs med andra register och dessutom låter förtag och statsmakt samla all info från alla organ.. Så att försäkrings bolagen kan neka er eller er ungar sjukförsäkringar pga att de rotar i jornaler som inte är deras.. och allt i små förpackade söta paket om att man gör detta för att sätta dit kriminella och andra kommer inte att beröras.. DU ÄR LURAD! läs och lär..

Välkommen till övervkanings samhället av Kristoffer Gunnarz

En ypperligt bra bok som inte döljer vad som händer..


Ok ok där var en rantande som inte skulle komma här.. men jag var tvungen..
Nä till ngt bättre Tinker Bell kommer att pryda med sig själv som avbildad på
min dator. Inte bara som desktop bild utan även på utansidan :) en underbar
syster hon är...

Ok, so here is the main reason why I have been (still are) part of a Sabbat (VtM) Larp.

* I like character play.
- Meaning that realy try to be the character, to be as close to the character I play that means not to think in tems like "oh, how should my character act now, what should my character do" but instead actualy feel what supose to be the character feelings and act on it. Now this is very complicated and takes alot of energy.

* I want thous around me to experience WOW feeling.
- This I thinking in terms like when the larp is ending the other players would feel happy that they have joined the larp. I want them to be encurage to act out too (in game) and after the larp feel that this was very real, perhaps carry home one or two thoughts about life.

* I like theater play, fx.
- Ok, I do not see myself standing on a stage and acting infront of ppl. But I enjoy the idea that larp brings, to try to build a fictional world and make it as real and belivible as possble. I like to prepare the area with furnitures, lights and effects to bring the fantazy alive.

All this do apply on regular rpg too, so why BS?
I do after all games (at least trying) to talk to people to get a feeling of how they liked the game and if there was something that was not good or something that could be imporved to next time etc etc. Of course if they had had a great time as the game moved on, mostly people has said that things has been good and ok.

But still I hear in 2nd, 3rd person that some people has not liked this and that (of my way of acting) It realy saddess me. I mean here I walk around after a larp talking, trying to get as much info from others.. trying to give a chance for a talk and see how things are..and still ppl just deside to sneak behind the back and BS... realy boring and just creating greater distands between ppl... so why BS?

And I have yet not gone to sleep... but it's wounderful to see the ligth comes back and the night drift away. This things makes Me forgett things around Me for bit and that is just fine.. nae damn paper to read and see how our gov is with the gov over the great water and other govs around this place, slowly crushing the democratic ideas we once tryed to live by.

But most sad is the people that doesn't do anything or care.. I wonder what they will say when the big A over sea and our gov constantly are taped on our wires?.. yeah welcome to One central  gov.. take you soma and stop asking question! or it will be the loveminsitry for ye..

I'm glad that I have found a place here called Pixie hollow -- Waterfall Portal. It's a wonderful place and hey I got stamped since a few weeks.. and this was what they thought me was:


Its a very nice pic and it says alot.. thanks everyoone at WaterFall..

So whats going on? Well aranging the last larp meeting that will be hold at sunday 20th may and it will be a rave. The Brujah are the stars of the night.. in the Malkavian setting. This will be old school rave with some plots and strange things happening. I'm looking toward it and so does one of the ST that I have worked this idea with.

Other things.. well I'm going to set up a freeform rpg with a few friends. It will be a world with strange things within it byound the eyes of the mundane humans.. It will be intressting the other players hasn't done this fully and in this way. I have taken My exp from the internet  rpg I have been doing since mid 90s. Well I think it will go wonderful.. cuz I'm going to mix all our diffrent rpgs like ww, eden studio (specialy witchcraft), kult, chock, and so on and on..

sleep well..

can't login...

I'm so tired of how to see our freedom just cuts up and destroyes by ppl who wish to earn that little penny. Or gov to get a hook on everyone so they can use it against the ppl.. Why can't ppl on the net just try to focus on being free here, let the word out, let us be free to share and to educate each other?

Are they so hungry for money or fame? or afraid for something?

This is a copy from someone we all know...

ask a ninja

Myspace Will Censor You
Submitted by digitalfilmmaker on February 2, 2007 - 7:32pm.

Let me start off by saying we love all of our friends and fans that we've made through Myspace.

But sometimes Myspace the company does some gross stuff that violates the spirit it was created under and the values of the Internet itself.

Over the last few months there has been a lot of debate over Net Neutrality, which basically boils down to one company blocking access to to another companies servers in order to gain a business advantage. This debate has usually focused on the companies that charge for bandwidth like AT&T, but recently Myspace has pioneered a new form -- blocking sites that users link to in their bulletins and profiles.

Right now if you link to anything at a site like "http://revver . com" (remove the spaces) Myspace will delete the link. Try it. That sucks right?

Revver is not the only site. There are dozens of smaller video and photo sharing sites that they are doing this to.

Why should you care?

Ask A Ninja was created because we were in control of where we posted the videos. That's a big deal because if we're forced to put them on MySpace video then FOX could take the episodes and make money off of them without paying Douglas or me anything. Which isn't fair and takes away the incentive to create cool shows for you to watch.

Why is this against Net Neutrality? Because videos from Myspace Video and Youtube are not effected. It's only these smaller, more innovative companies that haven't been sold for billions of dollars.

Here's what you can do:

Copy this bulletin. Repost it. Blog about it. Make Tom put up a little fix it bulletin saying he's sorry.

Once you've reposted this, send a message to Tom (http://myspace.com/tomanderson) like this (or even better, write your own):

I'm sending this message to request that MySpace stop blocking videos from sites like Revver. Choosing the video-sharing service that is right for me is very important and is why you built Myspace. What I like most about MySpace is that I can generally do what I want here. I like that Myspace is a relatively open platform where I can communicate with my friends (and promote my stuff) in all sorts of ways. I feel good about sharing videos from Revver because I know they respect copyright and look out for independent artists. Please bring back Revver!

UPDATE:

Digg this here

And that's the address for Tom's personal profile.

10.50 - Me awaked and realy tryed to get up.. but closed me eyes.
11.50 - Again I opned me eyes and found my cats sleeping in the bed.. beside one that was walking allover me..
13.20 - the phone is ringing and I realy did get up...

And now I'm here, drinking my tea (chai with some honey and milk) working me mind to get ready to meet the world. It seem to be warmer outside, the snow have melted some but still the streets and fields are white.

Last night an old friend took contact with me trough the IM. To be honest I was little suprised but althouth happy. We spoked and head over to the disneys fairies site.. made ourself a fa'ae and all that was quite fun. He probly don't know how much it meant and I will probly never tell.. now this is very funny, why shouldn't I? Well becouse we all have been teached to smile even when we are down and if me tell him then i will obvously break my masqurade..... what totaly fk idea.. I will tell and Me care nae what the reaction will be, the truth will speak for itself.


Rpg, aye I have stared but as I have seen it seem to not be anything, all will just fade. Now why is that? To be honoest.. I realy don't know. I mean how hard is it to just go on, its a new group of course it will have this 'child illness' as anything new. So what if some bumps in the road.. move on change if so needed later. I will have to tell them that I can't be pushy anymore cuz it just burnes me, and I don't want to get burnedout cuz of rpg the only thing I found some relaxing within. I do not find it to good for me if I was to stop liking or feel unhappy when it comes to rpg..


Wonderful larp.. I had so fun and good laugh. The character Me play got a peek trough the mad chaos that surronds us and saw a old plot. He took this to the rest of the world trough writing words on papper... to bad the others within the place didnät understand.. as they only see malkavian as some lonatic and nothing more. ha ha to bad for them.. Me and the ST had great fun to this.


I have been doing some paintings its fun to draw.. I wish I had a wall and cans, just to make a pices and then another and another.. Perhaps I should upload them here or so.. just to make sure this paper work drawings will stay for eternity..


And I have found a home here too... Pixie Hollow - Waterfall Portal Ye will love it if ye as me love fa'ae, it seem to be a great place ppl seem to be nice..

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I'm still afraid for what our goverment doing, and mostly the ppl that lives here.. no one seem to care that this place is to start co operate with homeland security of usa.. ffs what is all that about.. and why? well its about terror science (how stupid doesn't that sound) but to get into this little club our gov has to do espionage on its own ppl.. and get into this co opration with echelon.. so usa can spy on us.. and we spy on them then just exchange the new info... in that they have worked around the law about spying on their own ppl within the country as the law forbbids them to do that....

what is more desturbing is that ppl doesn't belive in this or think its good... ffs how blinded are they? I even meet ppl that do not realy want to read or see documenteirys about how govs around the world is working toward the new world order...

I wonder what they will say when time has come and its all to late...
democracy? I think that was taken away just after ww2 around the globe.. govs / company start to fuck their countrys.. over and over and over and over and over again....

Freedome.. is just an illusion this days... I mean just look at us we write here in LJ... a place that collect our info and can just rade it to get some gold coins..

{RPG / LARP}
This monday we finaly started with the new white wolf vampire of the wod 2. What did I think of it?
Well its hard to say, didn't realy interact with the new rules so much. The group seem ok, it was just the first meeting so there is not much to say. I hope this will go on and not just fade out to nothing as much of this things happens to do. I have a character I like to develop and play. I have worked alot with it to make it realy living. That feels great..

Last sunday was LARP.. it was fun, I think one of our player in the pack has finaly come to action of bringin more rpg and acting, witch I think is great. Next sunday its back again to Uppsala and play, this time will more happend.. I just hope our ST's will fix all the things till then..


I have slowly started to rp again online.. this time with a character (vamp) in a room in CC.. mm well will see how this will turn out.. as much of the online games just not so fun anymore.. cuz of all this little internal groups and ppl being so fkn uptight twats as my Liverpool friend use to say lol... ffs she is fun.. as the rest of them there..