||!The AciD Drop Will Free ur Mind!||

Fa'ae

2008-03-06T00:30:54Z

So I have found books that I really like, and the author is great.

Thithe - A Modern fairy tale
and follows with Valiant and Ironside (have yet not read the Ironside)
This books are great and Holly's language is simple with a perfect flow. The details are wonderful written and explained and the characters she have succeed to bring to life. From that I started to read her other story the The Spiderwick Chronicles
A wonderful story too (have just read the first book yet) but still the simplicity, the flow, the great details. I can only say that I recommend both series.

So our neighbours the fa'ae folk, ye wish to read more on them?
I found a couple of books today that I got meself and the first one is called The Fair folk and the second is Faery Reel both are anthology with (as it seem) great stories :)
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And the other part of life..
well still I fight to get up, still I fight to find a path to walk.
Its hard when ye find yeself not fittin this society were its most
important is to keep ye mouth shut, go to work then consume.
Over and over and over again, never lift ye head up never ask
yeself if this is wrong. Cause if ye do well then ye are sick and ye
need medication to push down that angst and strange feeling.

Probably I will break and either run away or be placed in a hospital...
ye know the society doesn't want people that trying to break free.
I wonder if I will ever find peace?

Where am I ¿

2008-01-17T03:30:04Z

I walking along the street, watching people around me
but I feel detached.

I have nothing in common with this people at all.
I do not know where this path will lead anymore and if that is good or not.
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So on Friday I'm supposed to have some sort of gathering, a birthday party.
I should feel great I guess, but it feel strange. Not that another year have passed, but to have a party.
For whom? It doesn't feel spontaneous.. It feels sad to call to gather people as if I was lonely and am I ?
Perhaps I relay do not know. I do not like to think that way anyway..

So I made a few mails and sent a few messages but suddenly I felt mm well say it just stopped and I couldn't go on, it didn't feel right rather kind of pushy. I do not want it to be that way. But now I have gained a couple of answers and it seem a few people will show up.. guess it wouldn't be fun for them if I just dropped the whole thing and it would certainly not make me feel any better.

So sitting here and write this on a page @ server I have no control over and letting everyone else read for what purpose? Maybe my words will get another feeling reading them later on the screen, maybe I will find other creatures words that will give some kind of guldens or just reflection.

How do one make other relay understand how it can feel to be erm feel alienated to all this around, specially other humans, the consummating and all this buy and throw idea. How can I make others to understand that this society feel like a nightmare and that I just can't be a part of this? I have spooked to what many would say a pro, a psychologist but for what good I wonder. This 'pro' have made up its mind on a diagnose and keep coming back to that, whatever I tell its back to that diagnose and then telling me to get a grip and get back to work yes and of course take medic.

I have succeed to stay away from other kind of drugs for use to easy the pain or whatever, so how in the hell can they think I should get their drugs? As if thous where not dangerous and risk for addiction.. plain stupid.

There are places where I find relaxation alterrealm.com in Symphony of the Damned, a rpg chat in the nWoD setting. There is this Sabbat LARP in Uppsala but thats about it, of course I do get some amount of it when I play DnD with some friends but sometimes I feel superfluous, am I? Well who could tell..

I just want to find that peace I once had, that energy to stand against whatever tried to push my happiness down. Have that ease to speak with people and just be alive.

I hope this Friday will pass on well and reach some kind of Lotus position and peace.
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The idea, the theme is fa'ae. That will include everything from the Irish folklore to Tinker Bell and friends from Pixie Hollow. I hope people will like it and have fun. Does teh spirit of the net have any tips for such things?

From one thing to another, this xmas I gave my kaji a NDS Lite pink to color. Got two games to Puyo Pop Fever and Astrix & Obilix seemed she liked them, later I got myself one too in pink of course.. I mean you relay need happy colors :)
I will later get this SD Card called M3 DS Real with that I will be able to have PDA like stuff, DSLinux and read books, listen to music mm nice nice I say.

Now she and I can play together and we can chat :) oh one more thing with that card we can get on line too and chat via that using mm perhaps (but soon if not now) IM otherwise we can use the picochat. Its a great little thing.

I have prepared to ST again and this time it will be Mutant; Undergångens Arvingar, with the campaign Undergångens Arvtagare. I think this will be fun cause the MUA is like the old Mutant back in the mid 80s. Its campaign is over the Pyri communion, three books with three adventures in it.

After that I will take up WoD again and will be suing the nWoD rules cause its have got better now. Thou I will not use the fully setting cause I dislike certain things within that. I will mm mod my own old setting and get it rolling again but from a different angel perhaps.

Well I hope things takes a turn now from this not fun path to a better, with more light and colords and happy smiles :)

worth thinking about

2008-01-03T01:33:48Z

Some people do realy say good things and this one is done very well... and funny too
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mF_anaVcCXg&feature=related

I took a moment and watched it, well it wasn't as if this was the newest thing in the world.. but it did point out things that sometimes might fall behind the senses...

fantasy, fantasiz, fantastic

2007-10-15T23:48:10Z

Bring them forth, let them fly high in the air and the sky.
Let them touch the rays of the sun and spread it over the
world. Be kissed by them, be loved by them and love them
back, kiss them back. For their wings brings joy and bells
of life to ye.

Arg = Alternate Reality Game
Why?
becouse its fun to use the open space, the space where
my game and their boring reality float as one. Strange
mayhap, dangerous? well can be if ye do it wrong. Letting
yeself float faster and faster and lose the grip of everything.

Now what is this? come and join the search!
Conspirarae

this is the image:

Jag har funderat en hel del som vanligt..
Vad är det som tvingar mig till att jag måste anpassa mig och lära mig de osynliga sociala spelreglerna för att funka bland resten?
Varför ska det vara mitt fel att jag inte förstår när någon säger en sak men egentligen menar något annat, och dessutom förväntas
att jag ska förstå det? Det är ju helt absurdum.

Folk gnäller på särskrivning och andra små saker när dom borde tänka mer på att tala och mena samma sak istället. Vad är det för mening att göra på annat sätt? Eller för den delen t ex ironi och sarkasm?
Jag ser det som feghet att inte möta världarna och inte våga ta steget till att faktiskt bry sig.

Nä öppna ögonen och se, se hur ni låter er styras och tycka av den såkallade statsmakten.. ni ser ner på Kinas regering när de censurerar nätet för sina medborgare och övervakar vad dessa gör. Men samtidigt blundar ni och tror att er egen regering vill er väl när de succeivt bryter ner den personliga intrigiteten och spärrar delar av nätet, jagar små barn för nedladdning och tillåter er att bli övervakade av kamror, som samkörs med andra register och dessutom låter förtag och statsmakt samla all info från alla organ.. Så att försäkrings bolagen kan neka er eller er ungar sjukförsäkringar pga att de rotar i jornaler som inte är deras.. och allt i små förpackade söta paket om att man gör detta för att sätta dit kriminella och andra kommer inte att beröras.. DU ÄR LURAD! läs och lär..

Välkommen till övervkanings samhället av Kristoffer Gunnarz

En ypperligt bra bok som inte döljer vad som händer..

Ok ok där var en rantande som inte skulle komma här.. men jag var tvungen..
Nä till ngt bättre Tinker Bell kommer att pryda med sig själv som avbildad på
min dator. Inte bara som desktop bild utan även på utansidan :) en underbar
syster hon är...

why BS?

2007-10-03T17:47:06Z

Ok, so here is the main reason why I have been (still are) part of a Sabbat (VtM) Larp.

* I like character play.
- Meaning that realy try to be the character, to be as close to the character I play that means not to think in tems like "oh, how should my character act now, what should my character do" but instead actualy feel what supose to be the character feelings and act on it. Now this is very complicated and takes alot of energy.

* I want thous around me to experience WOW feeling.
- This I thinking in terms like when the larp is ending the other players would feel happy that they have joined the larp. I want them to be encurage to act out too (in game) and after the larp feel that this was very real, perhaps carry home one or two thoughts about life.

* I like theater play, fx.
- Ok, I do not see myself standing on a stage and acting infront of ppl. But I enjoy the idea that larp brings, to try to build a fictional world and make it as real and belivible as possble. I like to prepare the area with furnitures, lights and effects to bring the fantazy alive.

All this do apply on regular rpg too, so why BS?
I do after all games (at least trying) to talk to people to get a feeling of how they liked the game and if there was something that was not good or something that could be imporved to next time etc etc. Of course if they had had a great time as the game moved on, mostly people has said that things has been good and ok.

But still I hear in 2nd, 3rd person that some people has not liked this and that (of my way of acting) It realy saddess me. I mean here I walk around after a larp talking, trying to get as much info from others.. trying to give a chance for a talk and see how things are..and still ppl just deside to sneak behind the back and BS... realy boring and just creating greater distands between ppl... so why BS?

The sun is up

2007-05-11T02:50:22Z

And I have yet not gone to sleep... but it's wounderful to see the ligth comes back and the night drift away. This things makes Me forgett things around Me for bit and that is just fine.. nae damn paper to read and see how our gov is with the gov over the great water and other govs around this place, slowly crushing the democratic ideas we once tryed to live by.

But most sad is the people that doesn't do anything or care.. I wonder what they will say when the big A over sea and our gov constantly are taped on our wires?.. yeah welcome to One central gov.. take you soma and stop asking question! or it will be the loveminsitry for ye..

I'm glad that I have found a place here called Pixie hollow -- Waterfall Portal. It's a wonderful place and hey I got stamped since a few weeks.. and this was what they thought me was:

Its a very nice pic and it says alot.. thanks everyoone at WaterFall..

So whats going on? Well aranging the last larp meeting that will be hold at sunday 20th may and it will be a rave. The Brujah are the stars of the night.. in the Malkavian setting. This will be old school rave with some plots and strange things happening. I'm looking toward it and so does one of the ST that I have worked this idea with.

Other things.. well I'm going to set up a freeform rpg with a few friends. It will be a world with strange things within it byound the eyes of the mundane humans.. It will be intressting the other players hasn't done this fully and in this way. I have taken My exp from the internet rpg I have been doing since mid 90s. Well I think it will go wonderful.. cuz I'm going to mix all our diffrent rpgs like ww, eden studio (specialy witchcraft), kult, chock, and so on and on..

sleep well..

test

2007-04-09T16:52:52Z

can't login...

Freedom? where?....

2007-03-16T16:32:56Z

I'm so tired of how to see our freedom just cuts up and destroyes by ppl who wish to earn that little penny. Or gov to get a hook on everyone so they can use it against the ppl.. Why can't ppl on the net just try to focus on being free here, let the word out, let us be free to share and to educate each other?

Are they so hungry for money or fame? or afraid for something?

This is a copy from someone we all know...

ask a ninja

Myspace Will Censor You
Submitted by digitalfilmmaker on February 2, 2007 - 7:32pm.

Let me start off by saying we love all of our friends and fans that we've made through Myspace.

But sometimes Myspace the company does some gross stuff that violates the spirit it was created under and the values of the Internet itself.

Over the last few months there has been a lot of debate over Net Neutrality, which basically boils down to one company blocking access to to another companies servers in order to gain a business advantage. This debate has usually focused on the companies that charge for bandwidth like AT&T, but recently Myspace has pioneered a new form -- blocking sites that users link to in their bulletins and profiles.

Right now if you link to anything at a site like "http://revver . com" (remove the spaces) Myspace will delete the link. Try it. That sucks right?

Revver is not the only site. There are dozens of smaller video and photo sharing sites that they are doing this to.

Why should you care?

Ask A Ninja was created because we were in control of where we posted the videos. That's a big deal because if we're forced to put them on MySpace video then FOX could take the episodes and make money off of them without paying Douglas or me anything. Which isn't fair and takes away the incentive to create cool shows for you to watch.

Why is this against Net Neutrality? Because videos from Myspace Video and Youtube are not effected. It's only these smaller, more innovative companies that haven't been sold for billions of dollars.

Here's what you can do:

Copy this bulletin. Repost it. Blog about it. Make Tom put up a little fix it bulletin saying he's sorry.

Once you've reposted this, send a message to Tom (http://myspace.com/tomanderson) like this (or even better, write your own):

I'm sending this message to request that MySpace stop blocking videos from sites like Revver. Choosing the video-sharing service that is right for me is very important and is why you built Myspace. What I like most about MySpace is that I can generally do what I want here. I like that Myspace is a relatively open platform where I can communicate with my friends (and promote my stuff) in all sorts of ways. I feel good about sharing videos from Revver because I know they respect copyright and look out for independent artists. Please bring back Revver!

UPDATE:

Digg this here

And that's the address for Tom's personal profile.

Little wings can take ye far, as long as you belive in Fairies

2007-03-01T12:37:12Z

10.50 - Me awaked and realy tryed to get up.. but closed me eyes.
11.50 - Again I opned me eyes and found my cats sleeping in the bed.. beside one that was walking allover me..
13.20 - the phone is ringing and I realy did get up...

And now I'm here, drinking my tea (chai with some honey and milk) working me mind to get ready to meet the world. It seem to be warmer outside, the snow have melted some but still the streets and fields are white.

Last night an old friend took contact with me trough the IM. To be honest I was little suprised but althouth happy. We spoked and head over to the disneys fairies site.. made ourself a fa'ae and all that was quite fun. He probly don't know how much it meant and I will probly never tell.. now this is very funny, why shouldn't I? Well becouse we all have been teached to smile even when we are down and if me tell him then i will obvously break my masqurade..... what totaly fk idea.. I will tell and Me care nae what the reaction will be, the truth will speak for itself.

Rpg, aye I have stared but as I have seen it seem to not be anything, all will just fade. Now why is that? To be honoest.. I realy don't know. I mean how hard is it to just go on, its a new group of course it will have this 'child illness' as anything new. So what if some bumps in the road.. move on change if so needed later. I will have to tell them that I can't be pushy anymore cuz it just burnes me, and I don't want to get burnedout cuz of rpg the only thing I found some relaxing within. I do not find it to good for me if I was to stop liking or feel unhappy when it comes to rpg..

Wonderful larp.. I had so fun and good laugh. The character Me play got a peek trough the mad chaos that surronds us and saw a old plot. He took this to the rest of the world trough writing words on papper... to bad the others within the place didnät understand.. as they only see malkavian as some lonatic and nothing more. ha ha to bad for them.. Me and the ST had great fun to this.

I have been doing some paintings its fun to draw.. I wish I had a wall and cans, just to make a pices and then another and another.. Perhaps I should upload them here or so.. just to make sure this paper work drawings will stay for eternity..

And I have found a home here too... Pixie Hollow - Waterfall Portal Ye will love it if ye as me love fa'ae, it seem to be a great place ppl seem to be nice..

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

I'm still afraid for what our goverment doing, and mostly the ppl that lives here.. no one seem to care that this place is to start co operate with homeland security of usa.. ffs what is all that about.. and why? well its about terror science (how stupid doesn't that sound) but to get into this little club our gov has to do espionage on its own ppl.. and get into this co opration with echelon.. so usa can spy on us.. and we spy on them then just exchange the new info... in that they have worked around the law about spying on their own ppl within the country as the law forbbids them to do that....

what is more desturbing is that ppl doesn't belive in this or think its good... ffs how blinded are they? I even meet ppl that do not realy want to read or see documenteirys about how govs around the world is working toward the new world order...

I wonder what they will say when time has come and its all to late...
democracy? I think that was taken away just after ww2 around the globe.. govs / company start to fuck their countrys.. over and over and over and over and over again....

Freedome.. is just an illusion this days... I mean just look at us we write here in LJ... a place that collect our info and can just rade it to get some gold coins..

{RPG / LARP | Things of so much}

2007-02-22T04:35:15Z

{RPG / LARP}
This monday we finaly started with the new white wolf vampire of the wod 2. What did I think of it?
Well its hard to say, didn't realy interact with the new rules so much. The group seem ok, it was just the first meeting so there is not much to say. I hope this will go on and not just fade out to nothing as much of this things happens to do. I have a character I like to develop and play. I have worked alot with it to make it realy living. That feels great..

Last sunday was LARP.. it was fun, I think one of our player in the pack has finaly come to action of bringin more rpg and acting, witch I think is great. Next sunday its back again to Uppsala and play, this time will more happend.. I just hope our ST's will fix all the things till then..

I have slowly started to rp again online.. this time with a character (vamp) in a room in CC.. mm well will see how this will turn out.. as much of the online games just not so fun anymore.. cuz of all this little internal groups and ppl being so fkn uptight twats as my Liverpool friend use to say lol... ffs she is fun.. as the rest of them there..

The tired mind...

2007-02-10T02:58:28Z

Ok.. So we thougth our gov would acutaly not be to STUPID.... but it seem like they just changes things now as quickly as possble before they will get so out voted in a few years..

So the gov of Sweden is controlefreaks just like usa, england and others... WE DON*T NEED ECHELON... or anything near it... so our gov blames on terrorism.. wtf ... the terrorism is against thous govs that fucked up other countries... and does sweden do that? no... sooo why would someone do that to us? this is just for controle us.. that lives here.. period..

The Iron lady in brittina is DEAD.. and so is bush to be.. why cuz after a while ppl get tired with this ppl that just fucks all things up...

This has made me so down this day.. and it realy was a slap in the face...
What is most aggitating.. is that ppl seem to not care.. they say 'well i have not thing to hide'

ok so ye have nothing to hide.. but would ye like that someone miles away sat and printed out the letters ye wrote to ye girl/boyfriend.. or perhaps watch ye homemade sexxy video ye just sent to a friend.. or whatever.. or how about this.. when the gov see ppl write more letters on snail mail.. mmm perhaps they could open them, en watch just to ensure ye were not up to something bad..

and how about this.. DATABASES LEAK INFO... meaning ops and now some company can get fino about ye that they never could get.. and how good is that.. let say they black list ye from serach for job.. or they start sending ads to ye.. or start to promote shit on ye that ye dont like..

ppl seem to not think that this will be abused, and perhaps not tomorrow.. but say in a few yers somethign happens and we get a new gov.. that takes over totaly.. ops... and we just let them got this super good system to CONTROLE everyone...

I just say fuck and welcome to THE LAND OF 1984!
-<-<-<-<-<-<-<-<--<-<-<-<-<-<-<-<-<-<-<-<-<-<-<-

The only one that makes me smail when I wake up..Tinker Bell
well and a few others as the few cats four of them at home.. one on two legs others on four.. and then the cat that share my virtual livingroom,bedroom,ktichen, other rooms

the music online from Priaterevial, and the hardocre from sycotic

So whats so wrong.. huh, I just trying to get that 3rd summer of love to come and eternal stay... whats so wrong with that?
why is it so hard to be simple?
no one likes anger and fights.. so why not just smile to the person next to ye.. or simple step aside when someone comes running or just help someone to hold up the door.. cuz if EVERYONE did that then things would be bit fk niceser...
but as always..mmm well no i can't do that..cuz everyone else is doing the wrong..
ffs ppl that line doth just not work...

And now I will try to write something better.. I hate to write bad stuff..but it seem to fill my head this days.... but later today this very suterday im going to go and meet a few friends..talk some rpg about a new settings... I have a character idea.. that is a witch, caring about the nature and the fa'ae.. I hope I will be able to working out more and make it fun to play..and a great expericense for the others...

later that evning im going to a dance evning... no drugs, no hooking ups, no strobs, no smoke mashines.. no police no nothing.. just a room with ppl that will dance..dance and dance and reach a higher state of conseness...
after that i will go to a friends birthday party and say hi.. and later i will return home and lay down and rest...

I hope ppl just can stand up and say no to govs that fucks us over.. and start caring about our world, the other spieces and the neighbore.. Hope someone understand what Tinker Bell realy stands for.. she is not just a figure for children..she is figure for a smile, for a care and love.. what she brings to the screen, magazines.. or whatever.. is a hint of how we should be to one and other..... remember that...

Things goes on and on

2007-02-04T04:20:47Z

Ok, so whats going on?
Things have been bit down and all, but I have succed to work toward the better (I hope)

New things, have meetup with a new rp group.. We going to start playing vampire (wod 2)
To be honoest I do have great hopes for this game for the first time. The ppl I'm going to
play with are nice and friendly.. the ST seem to like me, open mind and open for the rpg
and fun.

I still moving on with Xubuntu now updated to 6.10, it works great.. the only thing I have
a problem with is with firefox 2, and that is when I get to a room (web based chatroom)
like in creative and so.. It opens only the big frame 'the room' where the posts are..
there is no top frame where I can make my posts for the game.. first I thought it was just
my bad.. but it seem that others too experience this.

Now the biggy... I asked questions in the forum of firefox.. but nothin.. guess its more
importand to handle thing as embedded video or that the flash shit work.. or the themes
.. well well.. don't know who to asked.. but hope to find someone that might know..
or atleast the ppl at firefox get noted and can check if its coz of the codes...

well Im back at PR and meet a lovey friend there.. beside everyone else Sara is someone
I have talked a little bit more with.. she is nice.. well everyone at PR is.. I hope I will have money
to get over there soon as possble...

rpg rpg rpg rpg rpg.. oh did I say rpg?

2007-01-06T03:27:43Z

ok, so I did it. Got myself to an auction [Tradera.se] and bought BESM. The guy that sold it was realy nice and we meet in the city to make the change. He had another book too and a extra adventure for the game, he gave a good good price on that.. very friendly I must say. So here I'm now with BESM 2nd Ed, and a new system to read up on Tri Stat it's called. I have to say I like it from what I have now been reading online about this system:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tri-Stat_System

I think it seem to be very easy and simple, making the boring stuff like rolling dices and looking tables mm well it seem to be lacking yeah for that. Then game itself comes from:

http://www.guardiansorder.com

Can only say nice nice.. they have other things like Ex Machina, Dream cities too and they look good too. Perhaps this will become a new game and new system that I will continue with. So what is BESM?

Its a wonderful game where ye play either ye favvo manga character or self created character in ye favvo manga world. From Sailor moon to final fantasy to ghost in the shell or whatever. Fun huh *S* In Ex Machaina ye go deep in to the cyberpunk world and Dream cities mm haven't read about it but sounds great.

In Stockholm a nice new gameshop has open. Arcana (think the name was) where ye can take ye old rpg, board, tabletop games and get a value and then buy other 2nd hand / new stuff from them. And that is what I'm going to do tomorrow *S*

Working on a Star Trek character too, going to try to play in a ST room at creative-chat.com this will be nice. Going to make a Betazoid / Ocampa mix... parents was from each race and then be a councilor at some starfleet ship.. yup like Troi in ST:TNG but I like that sort of characters, so many opportunities to go with the character.

[Insert what ye feel tast best on ye tongue]

2006-12-29T06:36:22Z

Well, so the big holiday is over soon..
the stores around the world (well a few countries) have gain lots of lots of money.. and ppl have probably succeeded to feel happy and excitement for a few minutes.. I wonder why still a couple of days after that ppl goes to store and returnes the things and want money back? aren't they happy?

And the tv and news and whatever showing about the rest of the world where a cup of water is like gold... seeing ophera giving away a few millions $ for the ppl that lost their homes.. OK I think that is great, what I do not think is good with her.. is that this show that she has enough money to spend, meaning when she spends that kind of money she will earn money as she can write that off in taxes or just the annual interest is like that sum of money. What I feel most is that she and other people with that kind of money, could have help millions of creatures over and over again.. earlyer and later on, but will they?

Anways its great to see that ppl that lost their homes in that big storm has now gained a house to live in. I think that is just a good way of helping out.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

I'm still stressed up, aye it might be noted above. Why? well mmm simple I think but sorry I have nae words for it.
I'm to write down points for what I feel and what I think how I react. Hope that will help some.. Nice year to start with, the idiots in the gov has to get money for all the taxes they taking away.. so cut down for humans in a way that they don't see it quickly.. like raise the month cost for being in the union and lower the money ye get when ye out of job cause of ye paying that union.. now thanks for that shitheads.. realy making ppl feel supported and giving a helping hand to get that self-esteem to actually get oneself on the feet again.

Gaah I realy hate to think about it, it just feeling my head up and make me be punched down on the floor again and again.. and I just do not wish that.. I want to be able to smile and be happy.. but each day just make it much harder.. each day I get reminded of what kind of world I live in...

Im not feeling well

2006-10-12T23:17:46Z

So here I write again, so many weeks has passed since last time. To be honest i wish i didn't thought in those terms as in weeks, months, hours and seconds. I hate that and it stressing me totally and then the mood is down in the bottom again.

I have more or less given up on rpg, yup the very thing I like allot. The anger and attitude has finally gripped its claws into the net, every board, every chat room every little mailing list. Everywhere ppl has just brought the bad atmosphere from the outside. But I try, I try to smile, I try to be open as before. But constantly meet arrogance, ignorance, just a not nice attitude can really be that cold iron stabbed in the back.

I will not argue here and now about why and so. I just want to smile again.

adrop @ 2006-07-31T03:18:00

2006-07-31T01:17:57Z

I got myself a 1 GB memory card to the mobile.. yummii now I can listen to music and not carry around that mp3 player woohoo.. So this days and nights has been flat.. something like ----------------------------- <- that. But news, for the fun parts. The 19th aug its a rave.. Best of Old School and Altern8 are going to play and lots of dj of PR, I already scream TUNE! for that. Here ye have a link www.piraterevival.co.uk

XUbuntu works fine, guess i succed to get the hdd filled, need to find a cheap hdd with more space.. More to come is that i have always been tired and all at the news.. so i gona write one for myself.. now this one is called Fa'ae News and will just be such things.. not a single part of bush or otehr shitheads.. its tired to listen to that same old crap, and everyone knows it and no one (specialy thous that can) does nothing..

And i have found ppl from the good old school rp online... cheers m8z its great to have ye around again...

uPS & DOwns

2006-07-10T23:58:30Z

Right things have happend..
Now running XUbuntu, works great.. and all is free, no more xp yeaaaah.

I have it all:
* Irc
* IM (Icq/msn/aim)
* Web browser
* Mp3 player
* LJ editor
* OO.org
* Comicreader
* Acrobat reader
* GIMP (sorta same as photoshop)
* usual stuff for linux

All working as any good as any other system, if not better.. and a few days away for a festival www.arvikafestivalen.se and later on london for a old school party.

still waiting for a meeting with the shrink.. gaaah all this waiting..

[Ends so easy]

2006-05-18T22:48:06Z

[beep, message....]
-- Come, to office we have to talk
[/message]

Ok, so I already know what to expect. Even when they never told over the message. I called the doc and told what was going to happen, he didn't believe that. So the morning I go there (18 may) and of course I'am so right. They gave Me no choice other than assign the paper, that would tell that I was kicked from work. I even told them that I would rather leave this to the union, course I was just tired on all this crap. They pushed on and say well they would tell and all, just sign. So what do I do.. sign it.. I mean they are two that pushes on.. I'am one.

And all this I said to both them and the doc / consular / etc etc.. That this was to happen if I took the problem at its horn. So many FUCKING thanks for that... And they have the guts to say ..."well hope all will work out and be find soon".. this was like .. Taking the gun, shoot Me in the head and say hey hope ye mind will not fail to function...

So here I now sit, without a job, an apartment I have tried to get fixed.. as I have been calling the landlord one million times.. and STILL they haven't showed up. Its not just like one thing going bad.. its like taking one card away from the card house and the rest will follow.

Get strong.
Get back on track
Don't listen
Just go on
Work harder
Forgett
............................................................... & when shall I take a moment to check on Myself?

[Cyberpunk's / ice cream / and other things]

2006-05-17T01:40:18Z

This day started with talking to a doc.. and then the welfare officer.. just a few min on the phone..
Then this day continued to roaming the net and I passed trough some places.. of interests. More
fun it was when I got to the shopping center, went into a book shop that had this sale of books.

I found Neil Gayman's book Coraline and Clive bakers Abarat 2 But I didn't buy any of them, and one can now wonder why in hell didn't I do that.. I mean there was sale and they very cheap.. The thing was I found a book that had been stole from Me once before, and this is a dissertation about the Net / Surfer / the cyberpunk's / etc etc This book was published in 1994, and what is written in that book is interesting cuz at the sometime I too were out there and explored the unknown and unfamiliar places and tools..The book
Surfing on the Internet: A Nethead's Adventures On-Line The reader has the pleasure to either lean back and suck in the nostalgia, or to learn about how it was back then.

Why is this book fun and all?
Well it brings Me back to a few things, Cyberpunks / online life / A I and such things.. a few things that I'am interested of. Today I think there aren't much ppl thinking about this things any more. We take it for granted, and become very amazed when we meet ppl that do not have a computer or a link to the net. Does the cyberpunk still live? or did it die with the mass chock of ppl online?

Well I think the cyberpunk is still there, doing the same as always. Its just that the media [Insert here things like popular magazines / poor newspaper and gossip paper] didn't manage to get it mainstream like everything else.

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Today I went to Glass huset, a place at medborgar platsen. This little gathering is something that is always done on tusdays from 18.30 to 20.30 (+/- an 30 min to an hr) Anway I ate chocolate mix with candy.. was nice..

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After that I went home, and came here to write some, and take a look at the Kassar camp, and of course continue My search for more about Herz, and all the cyberpunk info...that is new and not to old..

[Soon I will not have any more words

2006-05-15T15:18:28Z

Watching a rp room disappear, I wasn't surprised cuz ppl just vanished and stop talking, or anything..
What made Me surprised was that when I asked the site owner she/they didn't answer. It's really boring to see such things happens.
But I guess they have their reason not to respond.. this days. The memberships are up / close friends are helping.. etc etc why bother
for such simple Q?

Things have gone slightly just down the road, it is strange when ye trying to get things straight and fixed... ye are not ill. If ye are ill
be it physical or mental ye shall do nothing, be silent and know nothing. Any indication to the different bye bye ...

This 'down the road' thing, have shown a lot:
* true friends / who really are and not.
* How much ppl DO NOT help. / specially thus that called them self friends
* The disbelief others have against ye. / Even thus Dr and stuff

Time to focus, close the eyes and walk on.. do not look back EVER..just keep on walking.. (& who I'm I trying to fool here?)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CyberPunk, was it just a phenomena that ppl took to them self as a fun thing, back in the 80s / mid 90s?
Well probley around the flashy ones.. CyberPunk was nothing that was coming, it was already here and to stay..
develop and grow. The irc channels has vanished or are hard to find, I wonder why?

CyberPunk never had really vanished, we still here and trying. The media have left us and well probley is that for the best,
because now we can explore and reach new edges and new frontiers. Each mind is a Enterprise or Voyager starship moving
silently trough the space of information, where information is just part of something bigger, like a leaf on a tree. Places 2 go:

* Cyberpunk Information Database
* The Cyberspace & Critical Theory

Of course there are one million sites more but hey let start somewhere again.

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/ End Transmission

Mind / Body & Soul

2006-03-28T22:50:19Z

When the mind crash,
When ye feel bad, empty and lonely.
Ye will notice the truth.

Ye are surrounded by people, some say
are ye friends some doesn't even say that.
They all smile, saying hi, asking how ye are.
But be careful of what ye answer. They play
the game, like a pathetic vampire.. they play
the game.

To say hi, to ask how ye are is just something
each and everyone has to say and ask. They
don't really want to know, they will just smile as
long as ye say hi back and I am ok.

Because that day, when ye lose the grip, when
ye fall and only wish ye someone asking how ye
are..just so ye can say the truth, that very day
ye will notice the truth, only that day.

Because when the words comes, when ye speak
the truth they will step back, saying it will be ok ye
will see.. only to say next that they have so much
to do... talk to ye later hun........the will ignore ye.

Its so much easier to stay within the masquerade.
To show that they care means to let down the gard,
to expose them self. They can't do that, no no.
Ye have to stay cool, to be a silver tongue, to keep
the mask up. To be open means weakness, to nice
means weakness.. at least that is what they think, so
be calm because ye will learn, when ye fall that probably
ye will be alone..

The problem with mE!

2006-03-23T13:46:16Z

Well what might that be?

That I do not like the system I live in? Or is it that I don't believe in twosome and couple ideology? hmm maybe its that I don't like humans mm now that is a biggy.. or not. its probably all that and more, yeah why not?

Ok so I have walked trough this realm with a happy smile, sometimes it has just been a mask for hiding what I really think or should I say to protect others from what I really think.

But what have really got My focus is that how many just turn their backs or doesn't believe. With the excuse that "well just wanted ye to get better" yeah right.. specially with ppl that knows allot about this things. Thanks for that, really need to get that a punch in the face. Something else that I have seen or meet or whatever [insert ye own there and here] is that when ye calling the doc, telling them how it is they seem to seek for anything that is broken... "yeah doc here..right in My mind ye see?" but nae.. its not a visible damage then it can't be anything right! yup F ye too.

And everything just falling apart.. sitting home and trying to get a appointment.. meaning no job..leading to less money.. leading to more worry about how to pay the fees... leading to next and next and next..and yey I am back in my tress loop again...

adrop @ 2006-03-18T01:07:00

2006-03-18T00:07:04Z

Otroligt vad man lär sig en massa nytt när man rasar, faller eller kort sagt går in i väggen.
Dvs orkar inte tackla eller hittar inga vägar att tackla diverse tunga tankar och oroligheter så
att det leder till att man slås ner.

Bland annat lär man sig vart det man kallar vänner är och finns, ingetligen ska man (jag i detta fall)
bli de minsta förvånad?... nae. Spontan 'hjäp' eller rättare sagt en hint om vilja kommer oftatast
från oväntade platser, och indivder gärna som man (återigen jag) inte känner tilll eller just lärt känna.

Med tanke på att samhället inte förstår sig på rave kulturen som den är, så är det mindre fester
och vädigt dyra.. Jag som alltid använt rave som ett medium för att focusera och rena.. tackla
mina problem har nu ingenstans att vända mig.. då även där en ny attityd har spridit sig.

NU får jag prova att använda LARPet se om det funkar..anars helt enkelt börja gå på mer fester
till coh med de som bara är trance...

RavE on...

Rave / Media

2006-03-14T22:48:41Z

Ravekulturen, finns det en sådan i Swe?
Jag och min kompis prata en stund i telegonen, och kom fram tilll att Sverige är ett U-land när det kommer till den delen.
Endå så pruducerars här en mängd music, techno / Acid / psy / goa / trip / etc etc etc. Som är utanför gränserna kända och stora.

Utanför gränserna upplevs (med tanke på musik productionen) att Swe har den feta ravescenen.. (en tanke som vi slogs med och tyckte att så kan det ligga till) Men endå är den minimal. Varför?

Punkter som dök upp då var:
* Media
* 'Yttre Samhällets syn (påverkad av media)
* Vissa gruppers ogillande (använder media för att stärka sin posission)
* Attityden

4 punter som verkar vara den största delen, och hur påverkar man?

Vi har DANSmaniFEST som sker på sergels torg, ett sätt för oss att nå ut. Vi skulle kunna anordna fester som kostade mindre för att kunna ha fler fester, fler möjligheter att nå ut till allmänheten och visa att RAVE INTE är om droger och tjafs. Men då behövs lokal alt område att få vara i. De måste ligga centralt, för att så fort en fest är lite krånglig att ta sig till blir folk gnälliga (Attityden) och tycker det låter jobbigt eller vad nu det må vara.

Vi behöver nå ut bättre, flyers med info, berättande om att Rave är en kultur som igentligen har funnists längre än 97 och finnboda varv. Vi pratar om 80 och 90 talet.. då man slog upp en fest och så var det bra.. Jag pratar om woodstock och 60 talet.. rocke'n'roll 50 talet.. Rave har alltid funnits i olika namn och benämningar.

Rave är om möjligheten att träffa vänner och bekanta, lära känna nya personer. Ta vara på tankar och erfarenheter, att dansa och få meditation. Att uppleva med alla sinnen, njuta och focusera. Pyssla och göra saker och att röra sig. Samt en miljon andra ideer från andra Ravers.

Det finns en grupp av arr, vissa bättre andra sämre.. med det menar jag de bättre som vill ha en fri kultur, en erkänd kultur. Den sämre för att bara tjäna pengar.. men den såkallade sämre är mycket liten. SÅ låt oss konsentrara oss på den bättre.
En arr lägger ut massor av egena pengar, hoppas att dom inte går back. Visst är det kul om det blir lite över för det kan man ju isåfall lägga på nästa fest. Ibland har man inte pengar, men istället för att föska komma in endå, varför inte erbjuda sig att hjälpa till.. köra bil ( om man nu har det9 rigga, städa och plocka ner.. Som lokal / områdes ägare, lita på arr och tänk inte bara på att vinna pengs, hjälp till och underlätta för arr, det kommer att ge bättre kontakt.. och fler vill hyra / låna av er.. vilket bir i längde de där pengs som man så gärna vill ha..

Om fler engagera sig på olika sätt, skriva, berätta, fösöka att få fram budskapet igen.. så kan det tänkas så att RAVE kommer att få en bättre stämpel.

RAVE on ppl....

Meet the Future with Father Dagon!

2005-12-31T17:52:44Z

With days of comfty and a mind that has been both lazy and working. The big day is ahead, after this weekend with some 'party' for the new year.

Now this is strange, why are we having this party? for fun or for our frightings for the future and our realization of that nothign stays 'young'? Perhaps both, perhaps neighter. For some this is a starting point of promises both to themself and others around them (Yet another strange things, why all this promises?) For others its just a passage trough the endless stream of time and dacy. For others the 'new year' or as it can be seen new cycle has already been many months earlyer. How come? well they follow the old ways that still lie deep inside us.

Anyway from this to that to whatelse, I got Myself a pair nof new pants from 23, nice and warm *S* and I got them from Saturn Return @ Gamla Stan (sorry can't remember the street name right now) Last night i was over that hat place called väsby.. to get a key & to meet up with an old friend. We had a great time and was talking about the CoC game he have set up, and hoe to get a few new ppl in.. yey Im going to play CoC for once *L*

have a great whatever ye will have..